Lowe’s League Pass Rankings! Breaking down NBA teams 30-11 in fun, style and unintended comedy


It’s time for our dumbest NBA preseason tradition: League Pass Rankings! These rankings turn 10 today. I can’t believe I continue to trick publications into running them.

These are not power rankings! They are watchability scores, derived from an ancient formula Bill Simmons claims appeared before him when he ingested too many TB12 supplements.

We score teams, 1-10, in five categories:

ZEITGEIST: Do actual humans care about this team?

STAR/HIGHLIGHT POTENTIAL: Do you stick around games, at the expense of sleep and loved ones, because one player might do something spectacular?

STYLE: Are they tactically interesting?

LEAGUE PASS MINUTIA: Announcers, jerseys, court designs.

UNINTENTIONAL COMEDY: Coaches making funny faces, passive-aggressive teammates, frequent bloopers, sneaky irritants.

This an uphill battle for deep rebuilds. The Thunder bring up the rear again, despite the presence of Shai Gilgeous-Alexander — who appears to move in cinematic jump cuts, as if he is constantly buffering — and one of the league’s most unusual players in terms of skill set in Aleksej Pokusevski.

Poku is 7 feet and weighs only a little more than I do. He is physically implausible; he looks as if he plays on stilts. He is a gigantic perimeter player, with decent vision, a knack for blocking shots, and a tendency to throw way-too-ambitious passes in random directions.

Our guy Poku jacked almost seven 3s per 36 minutes and hit only 28%, a combination of profligacy and inaccuracy that has only been matched about a half-dozen times. He’s so tall, he almost shoots downward.

It really feels as if the Poku pick will either be a home run or a disaster. He’ll either develop into a borderline All-Star or a skinny turnover machine. Can you envision him turning into, like, his version of Danny Green? Nope.

Can we trust these guys to play…

Source : espn

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